If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
