yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
