Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
