i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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