i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
