i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
