I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
