i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
