I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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