I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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