Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
