I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
