Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
