he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So squirting runs in the family.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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