About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
