I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this will be a night to untag.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
