She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
