Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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