I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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