Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it because I queefed?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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