your thong is hanging out like whoa
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Randomize
