is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
