I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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