I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
