i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
