grandma shit on top of the toilet
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
