Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
