I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
