it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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