Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
