what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
