i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
