we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
