Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
