we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
