Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
