grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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