Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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