worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
