Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i think i just lost a toe
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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