And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
