Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
