absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
