bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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