We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
