Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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