you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
