You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Operation Purity has been aborted
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
