What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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