I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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